did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
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