there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
The best walk of shames are on the highway
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