Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
Randomize
