Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
two words: eviction party
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
Randomize
