so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
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