Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
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