So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
please come you make the beer taste better
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
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