Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
Randomize
