Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Randomize
