What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
Randomize
