the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
Randomize
