Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
I take back everything I said about communal showers
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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