omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
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