his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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