Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
it glows. i had to have it.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
Randomize
