Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
We need to step in, this can't continue. The guy she went home with last night looked exactly like Count Olaf, right down to the unibrow.
Which version tho, Jim Carrey or Neil Patrick Harris?
THAT DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER, YOU DON'T FUCK COUNT OLAF!!!
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
Randomize
