I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
Randomize
