so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
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