Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
I like my sex mixed with concussions.
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
Randomize
