I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
Thanks for FaceTime'ing with that ugly chick last night while me and her friend were in the other room. it's good to know I can still count on my wingman even when we're 2000 miles apart
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize
