I need help removing her.
how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
Dear god my vagina.
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
Randomize
