is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Randomize
