I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
Randomize
