Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Randomize
