i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
I got Pilsbury cinnamon rolls for us to have tomorrow, but I don't have the willpower to leave them in my fridge overnight, so I am eating them all and getting us more in the morning
I love you more by the minute
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
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