There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
Randomize
