is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
Randomize
