the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
I have surprise drugs for everyone
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
Randomize
