We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
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