Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
Randomize
