forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
Randomize
