i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
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