He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
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