The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
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