"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
Randomize
