Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
Randomize
