You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
Randomize
