im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
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