I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
North Korea, Best Korea!
i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
This beer is not sobering me up at all
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Randomize
