I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize
