god i wish i could take a shit and a shower at the same time
I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
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