well you can't waste a boner
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
Randomize
