We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
Randomize
