also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
He kissed a someone with a penis
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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