Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Randomize
