I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
Randomize
