all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
Randomize
