Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
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