drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
Randomize
