I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
Your penis caused this!
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