I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize
